Holy Crap! Yay and What if ....

So, somehow I have made it into the last round of Mog Madness.  This has been so much fun, I'm very sad that it's almost over.  I'm working on something but I can't talk about it, of course.  So you'll see when I do!

In other news, I managed to gain quite a few levels this past week.  I got my blood elf warrior to 65 via a combo of leveling and having my husband take me through instances.  I'm too shy to do things on my own and my guildies with toons my level have been on vacation for the past week.  I also managed to get my undead hunter to level 53 and a half (as of this writing).  And lastly, I got my goblin warlock to level 13 so she can get matched up with the husband's new undead priest.

That puts my total levels up to 1955, so I'm almost there!  Only 57 more to go!

And that brings me to what I wanted to write about today.  I'm sure some of you have seen that Amateur Azerothian is quitting the game.  And I want to point out that I truly, truly am 100% behind his reason(s).  Now, before I say anything further, I want to say a couple of things.  What follows is MY story.  It's MY plan for MY life.  This is not me saying ANYTHING about what you should or should not do.

I am the granddaughter of alcoholics.  (Stay with me here, it goes somewhere.)  My mother and father, seeing in themselves the potential to become alcoholics themselves, did not drink AT ALL while I was a young child.  It was only until I was 13 that I ever saw a glass of wine in my father's hand.  It was only after I moved out, that I ever saw my mother with a glass of wine in HER hand.  They had decided, before they had children, that in order to raise my siblings and I the best way they knew how, no alcohol would be allowed in the house and they would only drink a little on their date nights.

My parents (being my parents) seemed to me to be normal.  I know now that what I experienced in my early years was not normal.  My grandparents, well, I thought that everyone had grandparents who started drinking at 8am and passed out after dinner.  As I grew, I found myself having issues similar to my grandparents, except not with alcohol, with other things.

When I met my husband, he ran a BBS.  He taught me to type on the computer, he taught me to 'surf' the BBS's, he gave me my own forum (called the Peanut Gallery since he had nicknamed me Peanut).  I was hooked.  When we moved out, we got DSL.  Which back in the late 1990's was impressive.  A 'fat pipe to the net' is what I believe he called it once.

I met this guy through work (I worked a computer repair shop) who got me and my husband into a MUD called Xyllomer.  (This guy became, and is still, one of my best friends.)  I got into IRC and ICQ.  I would wake up first thing in the morning to see who was online in the MUD/IRC/ICQ.  I was constantly chatting with people.  There are pictures of me at family gatherings scowling because OMG THIS IS MY COMPUTER TIME JUST LET ME LEAVE!!

Then WoW came out.  I started to play and it was very apparent to me that this game is my alcohol.  I can not put it down.  I think about it all the time, I talk about it all the time EVEN TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T PLAY!!!!  I didn't realize how bad it got until my husband started to play.  I realized then that if he and I ever were to have children, WoW would have to go away.  Note, I did not say video gaming, I said WoW.  And honestly probably any other MMO.

I am happy here and at the moment, I am not hurting anyone (other then myself), neglecting anyone (other then my husband), or whatnot.  However, I know myself and I know how people with this disease (for I believe just like alcoholism, gambling addiction, drug addiction and eating disorders, this is a disease) lie to themselves that you can do it just a little.  No one will notice.  (To have full disclaimer, I am in a 12 step program myself.  However, I won't tell you which one.  But it is helping me.)

However, as I said in a comment to Mr. Amateur, the husband and I have always agreed that if I got pregnant, we would stop playing.  All for the above reasons I've mentioned.  I remember being snapped at by my drunken Grandmother, I don't want to be the mother that snaps at you while she's raiding/leveling/farming or the mother whose face you only see when she turns around to scowl at you because ZOMG you are disturbing her raiding.

Now, this being said, I have played in the past and currently play with parents whose first duties have always been to their children.  I know that I have never, in the past 7 years ever thought to myself "Geez, where are those kids and who is taking care of them?"  This is not about that.  We've all seen the bloggers retiring from WoW because they are having children or their children are growing up.  That is not about that either.

At this point in my life, I am looking at a life of no children (seriously, who would want to pass on my genetic code?).  So this is a moot point.  But, I love children (not for lunch/dinner) and I like to day dream sometimes.  "What if ...."  I don't play it alot anymore since the outlook is pretty bleak for that.

Now, if you are a parent who plays WoW or any other MMO, I am NOT calling you neglectful or lazy or stupid or whatever you think I'm saying.  I honestly don't even have an opinion on what the average parent does with their spare time.  I know that being a parent is a really hard job and I want to thank you for taking it on.  Earthmother knows I can't do it right now!  This is just what I would do, as I know myself.

So, thank you for reading.  And have a good night.