Shared Topic April 2nd-7th: Who are you?

Friday, April 6, 2012
Whilst watching lord of the rings...again... I got to wondering who I was most like/would be like and who my friends would be.
I decided my hubby would someone like Aragon or faramir - honorable, sincere and all round nice guy. This of course always leads me to think about wow and who would be if I could be and I wondered what everyone thought?
Are you more like Thrall or Jaina? Would you wish to be like Lady Vash'j?
Okay.  This is going to be a little exposing for me.  Because I'm going to write about my truest deepest desires for this Shared Topic and this is not something I believe I broadcast out to people.  I'm sure that most people who have spent any time reading this blog or knowing me for a long time in game might have figured this out,  but I'm not 100% sure.

If I could choose to be anyone, I would choose to be two people.  One would be a nurturing, loving, caring motherly person.  What I would imagine Tiffin Wrynn to be actually.  A sweet, caring, loving person who ultimately dies a tragic, completely avoidable death.  The second would be someone unhinged, insane, basically a sociopath.  So, Sylvanas Windrunner.  This is because I've always felt myself to have two sides.  Even before my bipolar was diagnosed.  I was very interested in Kwan Yin (Buddhist goddess of compassion) and Kali Ma from Hinduism in her Destroyer aspect.  I actually have statues of both of them all over my home.  I have the loving, caring, wants everyone to be okay and healthy side, then I have the nuke them all from orbit and let the Universe sort them out side.

If I had to be 1 entity, it would be the Reliquary of Souls.  This creature has 3 faces, one for suffering, one for pain and one for desire.  Most days, it seems those are the only pieces of me I have.  I desire time with friends and family, touch, kind words and looks.  I have mental suffering that I can't put aside, and as I go through more real life things, the suffering gets worse.  And there is the pain of the past and again, more real life.  And like the Reliquary of Souls, when you kill me, I drop no good loot.  (The good loot doesn't exist!!)  (Also, life is pain Highness, anyone who tells you differently is selling something.)

So there we go.  I like to pretend that I have a good outlook on life.  I don't.  All I see are shades of suffering, pain and desire.  I'm fascinated with death, have been since I was a teenager.  In college, I took death and dying classes so I could learn to understand the grieving process.  This has colored my outlook in ways I can't explain.

So, come to Black Temple.  Bring some buddies.  I'm waiting.

Picture from WoWWiki.


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