What's up doc?

Monica: Pheebs, you remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first?

Phoebe: Yes, but there isn't always time!

That's from a Friend's episode from the first season.  And it's pretty much what happens to me often.  So, this is going to be hard to write.  However, I want to give an update on my 2012 in 2012.  But I don't want to just say "I leveled X alt for Y levels" since that doesn't really explain a lot.  So, let's see how I do here.

My husband says that I've been slowly heading toward rock bottom for a couple of months now.  My bipolar disorder, which despite a few flare ups when my medications stopped working properly, has been almost completely 'under control' for the last 2 or 3 years.  However, this summer, one of my medications started giving me a side effect that I could not just over look.  So, the doctor weened me off it and put me on lithium.

At first I seemed to be doing okay, but then, in November, I snapped.  I can't remember what happened or anything but I know I was seriously depressed and the doctor's assistant (the doctor was on vacation) raised my dosage of all my medications to try and make me stable.  Shortly after, I got a headache.  And I am pretty sure I've mentioned that I still have this headache. (On the 30th, it will be 2 months of this headache.)

Anyway, my doctor was unwilling to try and adjust my medication while I had a headache.  So (as my husband says) I've not been medicated properly since about August.  And that is affecting my attitude in a very negative way.

Needless to say I have not (and am not) a pleasant person to be around.  And I get wrapped up in my own head and forget that there are other people around me.

So, that brings us to now.  Some stuff went down this past Friday (as Twitter knows) and as a result, I have been either unable or unwilling (depends on the way my mood flows at that moment) to spend time on my 'home' server.  So, I've been spending my time on my alts that I have scattered through the different servers.

My draenei shaman that I picked up the last time I was hurting got from level 53 to level 60 with minimal playing time. I also made a tauren priest on a completely new server to level with the husband.  We're going to see how long it takes us to get to 85 without heirlooms or anything.  My character made 20 gold by signing a guild charter, so I have a nice little 'nest egg' at the moment.  This priest just reached level 12 and we're currently debating where to go.  I'd like to go to Silverpine because you can totally reach exalted with Undercity that way.

Leveling by yourself on a server where you know no one is lonely.  RealId can only go so far and honestly, since I can't do any outreach on my own, I don't get anyone talking to me.

“Writing, to me, is simply thinking through my fingers.” - Isaac Asimov

This quote, to me, is so true.  I can't think through things until I write them down.  So, I've been doing a lot of writing over the past few days.  Most of it in my private journal, most of it in emails to friends who are completely unrelated to this situation.

I have written and deleted this last paragraph about 10 times.  I can't find a way to wrap this up that won't cause problems down the line for others.  So instead, I'll leave you with part of the refrain from Stroke 9's Washin' + Wondering song.

These are my hands, these are my faults
These are my plans
These are my nasty little thoughts
I wrote 'em down for you to contemplate
At a later date