Break ups and Aftermath

Leaving a guild is a lot like a break up or divorce.

If you've been in a guild for any length of time, you know that being in a guild is a lot like being in a relationship.  There is give and there is take.  Both you and the guild have common goals and dreams.  You spend your time (generally a lot of time) with the guild, laughing, playing, talking.  You generally grow together.

However, sometimes there comes a time when something changes so drastically that the relationship can not continue and something has to give.  Sometimes this is a slow lack of interest on your part, and you end up quitting WoW completely.  Other times this is a violent burst of disagreement, and you find yourself /gquit-ting or being kicked out of the guild.

I don't have a lot of experience being kicked from my guild, but as I watch myself and a lot of others go through a /gquit-ing experience, I feel I need to write about it.

In my case, my deteriorating attitude and the way this made people feel in raids, caused a tense situation in my guild.  And it became clear to me that as much as I loved the majority of my guild, if I wanted to continue to play and allow them to find their own way, I would need to leave.  However, for me, I didn't just want to leave the guild.  Because I was sure I had a reputation, I had to leave the server.  I didn't want to see or hear from anyone who might have seen me acting like a complete ass.  (The first couple of times I saw my best friends, both of whom are officers in my old guild, I was nervous and uncomfortable.  Because I was ashamed of how they saw me act.)

I joined my new guild, made friends, "moved on".  But, as with all of my romantic breakups, I find myself looking back at my old guild, wondering what they're doing and if they miss me.  I wonder what we'd be doing if I was still there.  And I find myself longing to land in Tauren Town (aka Valley of Wisdom) and see my favorite little goblin shaman standing there, ready for a hug.  It's familiar and it was home for many many years.

I'm very happy where I am.  I get greeted when I log on, I'm still 'the new druid' and thus still a novelty.  There's no baggage between me and my new guildmates.  There's just the love of a game.

I don't want to transfer back to my old guild.  The reasons I left are still there and aren't going to go away.  My real life friends, I still see on Saturdays and random nights through the week.  I still whisper them when something cool happens in WoW, and we rejoice in our awesomeness.

However, the nostalgia gets to me every now and then.  And honestly, as with other romantic breakups, when I see them moving on, it's bittersweet.  I'm happy that they have found renewed joy and motivation in the game, I'm just sad that I'm not there to share it.