Starting Over

Thursday, February 2, 2012
I've been on Blade's Edge for a couple days now.  I do like it.  People are friendly, my guild seems nice (if a little quiet on weekdays) and I'm enjoying starting over.

I'm remaking my alts.  So far I have Roseria (an undead hunter), Annanda (an orc mage), and a couple other level 1 alts that I need to weed out.  I love making alts.  And I love to level alts.  I'm going to make a blood elf warrior so I can see the starting zone there again.  I really haven't played it since BC.  It will be a nice change of pace for me.

In two days, husband and I capped our guild rep for the week.  It took us 50 dailies, 2 Elders and 2 dungeon runs.  (I was actually done before the dungeon runs, I think.)  However, husband has to build up a ret set for his pally.  (He had been healing with our old guild.)

I'm not good with change.  I'm really excited to be here and to move forward but I miss my friends.  I miss my bestie.  I still see her out of game but I miss seeing her name on my RealId and having the option to send her a message when I want.  I suppose I could text her but that's just not the same.  I've relied on this game to interact with people for so long, I don't know how to do it out of game.

My last post, I cried while writing.  I tried to read it to my husband (the man who doesn't read my blog) but I kept choking up and sobbing.  I finally made it through the post but he had to come stand behind me, with his hand on my shoulder as I cried.  (I don't accept traditional comfort when I'm crying.  I don't want to be held, I don't want someone to talk to me.  I want to be left alone where I can cry/grieve in peace.)

So. Now I'm in a new place, with new people.  I'm hopeful and I'm generally happy.  I miss people but that is normal.  There will be new people.  I need to remind myself that I don't have a set number of people I can be friends with.  I can be friends with more.  It's not like Blizz's ignore list.  I can befriend more then 50 people!

I spent some time reading Cynwise's lastest post.  And I loved it.  This is exactly it.  Cynwise GETS it.  And he has the eloquence to get it through to other people.


Characters weigh on my mind. Leveling characters, especially, but character in general. They take up mental space. They have ... presence, even when they're not doing things. I like having them around, I like having them available, I like trying out new things, but ...
Digital things can take up space.

That's it.  Right there.  My brain is filled with my characters.  Each of them are unique and I feel different when I play them.  My druid is the most comfortable but if I'm feeling sassy, I log my priest on.  Who I'm playing says a lot about my mental space.  It is like a canary in a mine.  You can look at it and be 'ah, she's feeling alone or sad or anxious or happy or sexy'.  I love that.

And now I get to start it over and find out what my new characters will bring to me.  What will my undead hunter be like?  My orc mage?  That baby blood elf warrior?  Who will be my favorite?  And do I really need to decide now?

3 comments:

  1. If you're talking US Blade's Edge then welcome from the Horde side of things! I plan to roll one Alliance there amidst the 2012 challenge because, well, I exploit the faction transfer means of generating economic bliss. But for now, I've got 5 cows on there that are introducing me to how the other faction lives.

    As for the comment about character uniqueness, that's me to a "T." Every character is absolutely that, a character. Each one is different in their own way (though, admittedly, Oddfodder's REALLY different) and it keeps aspects of the game fresh as far as I'm concerned. It's my playstyle and while it took me a long time to grasp the concept, I'm happy not to change that for anyone.

  1. Actually, you know my new guildmates, at least one of them! We got a case of the giggles when we realized that there was a connection!

    And cows are awesome. My goal on this server is not to end up with 5 blood elfs (or in this case 5 goblins) but one of almost every Horde race. Maybe 1 Alliance. :)

  1. That's right! I forgot all about that, despite her telling me.

    This is definitely my running of the bulls server. I haven't decided yet if I'll add a Shaman or Priest. In the meantime, feel free to add my cows to your friends list: Rhysk, Levache, Saintvache, Mortevache...and Oddfodder. Eventually I'm hoping to get one high enough to end up in said guild. ;)

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